HOW TO RECLAIM YOUR HOME AFTER DIVORCE OR SEPARATION
Welcome to this month’s blog, where I’ll give you my best advice for a post-breakup makeover. This is your time to do something for yourself that not only benefits you, but also your kids, your family, and your future partner.
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND
Do a deep clean of your entire home, purging any painful reminders of your ex-partner. You can either give these to your kids, or hide them away.
Once you’ve done this, fill up any empty spaces that were occupied by your ex with more of your things. This will give you a huge confidence boost: you’ll feel accomplished having completed an emotionally tolling task, more organised in your immediate surroundings, and you’ll have reclaimed ownership of your home. Plus, I’d say this makes for a great excuse to indulge in some retail therapy.
Removing most of the memories of your ex is also useful for when you inevitably start dating again. It’s a bit of a turn-off for your partner’s ex to be plastered on every wall and photo frame. While you should definitely show off your positive, happy family moments, there’s no reason for you to keep painful or romantic memorabilia visible.
MAKE IT YOUR SPACE
When decorating or designing your house in the first place, you likely had to compromise a lot with your then-partner. Now you don’t have to! You have complete and utter control over how your home looks. Start off by making simple changes like changing your bed linen and rearranging furniture and artworks.
For a more drastic change, use that wallpaper they hated, paint the kitchen in that ‘obnoxious’ shade of green, and enjoy not only the final outcome, but the process as well. Use this time to get your nearest and dearest together to help you – they’ll enjoy doing it, you have free labourers, plus you’re bonding with people during what is often a very lonely and painful time. Alternatively, get in touch with us here if you’d like a professional help in rejigging your home.
Breakups often encourage us to pick up new hobbies, so if you’re planning on doing this (which I’d strongly recommend), consider where in your home you’d like to do this, and how you want to feel while doing it.
For example, maybe you want to start painting, in which case, make the area you wish to do it in feel creative and inspiring, using bright paint and fabric colours, abstract patterns, and bold textures. If you want to start working out, create somewhere that feels energetic and empowering. You don’t need to dedicate an entire room to the activity if you don’t have one, but giving yourself a space for self-expression is something I’d encourage everyone to do – particularly if you’re going through a chaotic period in your life.
FOCUS ON STRESS MANAGEMENT
Divorces and breakups are horribly stressful. Introduce change that creates a sense of calmness for you personally. You might find peace from painting your walls in a happy or relaxing colour. Alternatively, you might take comfort in smaller objects like lighting, scents, and flowers. If you associate these kinds of items with your ex, use different versions of the same things.
You can also source these new items from a number of places, again, allowing you to make new memories with your nearest and dearest. For flowers, pick them from a public park (if you’re allowed!), go foraging, or just go hunting in the garden.
For unusual décor go charity shopping or visit a car boot sale and see what treasures you can find. This is a time of both emotional and physical renewal so get stuck in. Just make sure you create a space that brings you as much inner peace as possible. Now is the time to be selfish!
REJIG YOUR GARDEN
Nothing boosts mental health like being in the great outdoors. If you’re lucky enough to have outdoor space, make use of this, even if it’s small. Change up your garden/balcony furniture, and plant new flowers and greenery to add to the feeling of renewal. Repaint the fence you’ve been meaning to for years, and buy yourself some new plant pots to inject even more colour into your life. Perhaps you’ve always wanted a greenhouse or fancy changing up your patio? The possibilities are endless – I’d recommend going on pinterest for more inspiration should you need some.
Thank you for reading! I hope this helped you find some positive inspiration during a very difficult time. We’d love to be able to help you design your dream home, and love working collaboratively with all our clients. To book our ‘designer for a day service’ get in touch with us here.